discovering rumer

Hotmas Restaurant

Location: Taman Lagenda Indah, Sg. Petani, Kedah. 

How to get there: If you're heading north on the PLUS highway, take the Sg. Petani (U) exit, at the first traffic light, take a left turn and from there keep straight (you'll pass a few traffic lights along the way) until you see Tesco and Village Mall ( a new shopping complex right in front of Tesco), take a right turn at the traffic light and from there, head straight until you see a sign with the words Taman Lagenda Indah. Hotmas is located at the end of a row of shop houses (it's the restaurant with the green neon signboard).

Specialties: This restaurant serves a huge selection of food including malay, fusion, western and thai cuisines. 

What we ordered?

My friends at the office have this wonderful thing called the monthly food escape: once a month a few days before "gaji", we'll come up with a dinner plan to heighten the excitement of "gaji" day and this month, we decided to pay a visit to Hotmas, all the way in Sg. Petani. As mentioned above, this restaurant serves a myriad of food to choose from, you can go for Malay, Thai, Fusion (which really means a small selection of Chinese-inspired dishes e.g. clay pot and sizzling noodles etc.) and Western dishes. This restaurant is famous for serving food in huge portions at a very affordable price. Our group was so huge that we occupied three long tables (we came in five separate cars) and as expected most of us chose to order Western dishes with only a few opting for Malay and fusion dishes.

The good:
Following a friend's recommendation, I ordered a dish called Bombay Hot & Spicy Chicken. This dish is made up of grilled chicken fillet served with spicy gravy garnished with chopped "cili api" (bird eye chillies). To get the most of the spicy experience, make sure you take a bite of the cili api together with the chicken and make sure to mop up enough gravy before putting everything in your mouth. Allow the heat to burn your tongue for a while before taking in another piece of chicken. This dish is perfect for chili lovers but I still feel that Nando's spicy sauce fair better than the one served here.  My personal favorite is the Chicken Maryland, I ordered this dish the first time I came here. Tender chicken fillet grilled to perfection (the surface slightly burned but with the flesh nicely cooked, tender and juicy to bite) served with a special sweet and sour pineapple flavored sauce. A slice of caramelized canned pineapple is placed on top of the chicken as garnish. The crowd favorite was Lamb Chop, huge pieces of grilled lamb served with a standard brown sauce with generous amount of  ground black pepper that burns down your throat. 

The bad:
The Chicken Chop was disappointing. The problem with breaded chicken is when deep fried in high temperature, the breaded surface may come out crispy and golden but the flesh quickly loose its moisture and turns dry. I can hardly taste any marinade on the chicken and the sauces served with the chicken comes in tiny containers that can hardly last throughout the meal. Another breaded dish, the Fish & Chips was equally disappointing, the fish crispy but dry, the fries too little and surprisingly this dish was not served with the usual cream of tartar and lemon but instead with chili sauce. All western dishes comes with a small scoop of mashed potatoes, coleslaw and fries. The fries are placed underneath the main dish which results in the fries becoming soggy as they soak up the gravy and the salad dressing. I personally favor crinkle cut than shoestring as they are usually bigger and has the ability to retain its crispy surface longer than shoestring fries. I also ordered an extra serving of fries (which surprisingly came later than the rest of the dishes) but was disappointed that instead of serving it with mayonnaise or thousand island it came with chili sauce.The choice of drinks are quite limited and despite the huge servings of food, the drinks come in small glasses with half the glasses filled with ice.

The in between: 
The Grilled Chicken was a safe choice, grilled chicken fillet served with the standard brown sauce with  just enough ground black pepper, not too overpowering but strong enough to tingle your throat. The Claypot Noodle (as its name implies) was served in a black claypot soaked in thick, dark sauce with generous amount of prawns swimming in between strands of egg noodles.

The snob's verdict: 7/10 (closer to 6 than 8)
This place should take credit as the largest HALAL restaurant serving local "western" dishes in the Northern regions (most restaurants serving western  dishes are owned by Chinese despite being certified HALAL). If you're looking for a place for a quiet romantic dinner, this is NOT the place for you. This place is constantly jam-packed with customers despite the rapid turnover. Try Damiral's Grill in Bandar Baru Perda if you're planning to have western dishes for your anniversary.

Best of the Best of 2010 (part 2)

Continuing where I left off, I have so far reviewed two movies i.e. The Social Network & The King's Speech which means I have three more movies to scrutinize before i complete the customary 5 nominee shortlist to be considered for Best Picture in the upcoming Academy Awards. I find that by afternoon, my British accent is slowly diminishing and I am slowly reverting to my old self. And the list of nominees continue....

Inception  
Written & Directed by: Christopher Nolan
Actors: Leonardo di Caprio, Joseph Gordan Levitt, Ellen Page, Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy, Marion Cotillard, Tom Hardy, Micheal Caine
Achievements so far: 3 wins and 25 nominations. Nominated for 4 Golden Globes but failed to win any.Nominated for 9 awards in the upcoming BAFTA.

What is great about this movie:

This movie is the perfect example of a perfect blockbuster. Big budget, big cast (this movie features a huge number of Hollywood A-listers and a multi-racial casts to boot), big set, big score (the most prominent sounds you hear on the score are the big horns) and most importantly an enormous ambition to be more than just a summer blockbuster. This is a summer blockbuster with brains.This movie pushes genre boundaries, it is at once a thriller-espionage, sci-fi-fantasy, action and drama all rolled into one. One can easily get lost in the labyrinth of stories within stories but the director's careful direction allows you to sit back, relax and just enjoy the show. Director Christopher Nolan waited patiently until right at the end of the movie to drop the biggest bomb which kept people talking months after the movie was shown: Did Dom (Leonardo) really made it back to the real world? Did they succeed in their mission? Will the top finally stop spinning? This is the stuff that makes a movie a cult: allowing the audience to keep guessing, discussing, debating on the movie years and years after its release but never giving a definite answer, allowing space for formation of theories, speculations and predictions. To create the amazing effects you see in this movie, the director decided to dish CGI for conventional camerawork and went all the way to design a rotating sound stage for the famous anti-gravity hotel scene. I strongly feel that any respectable award shows should be celebrating these kind of amazing feats in movie making and not simply rule out Inception as another summer blockbuster which deserves recognition only for technical achievements but unworthy of other major recognitions including Best Picture and Best Director. The movie features excellent performance by the casts as a whole but lacks any outstanding performance for it to be considered for any acting recognition. I do feel that Hans Zimmer deserves better recognition for his work on the movie's score rather than the couple who clinched the globe for Best Original Score for their work in The Social Network.

Black Swan 
Directed by: Darren Aronofsky
Written by: Mark Heyman, Andres Heinz
Actors: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel

Achievements so far: 4 wins and 33 nominations. Natalie Portman won her first Globe this year for her brilliant portrayal of a ballerina at the verge of a nervous breakdown. This movie is up for 12 nominations in the upcoming BAFTA. 

What is great about this movie:

I've reviewed this movie in my blog before and I gave it an 8 (but very close to 9) which makes it one of my favorite movie of 2010. This movie uses the background of a ballet theater to showcase the destructive power of neurosis fueled by jealousy, insecurity and an unrealistic desire to be perfect in any way possible even when it means sacrificing your own sanity and in the end your life. This is perhaps one of the most beautiful psycho-thriller i have ever seen: acted by beautiful people (Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis), beautiful camerawork (including liberal use of CGI to enhance the visual hallucination experienced by the lead), beautiful make-up and wardrobe and a hauntingly beautiful score which effectively captures the mood of the movie. Natalie Portman definitely deserves the accolades she got for her wonderful performance in this movie. It is very disappointing that the soundtrack by Clint Mansell was not even considered for competition since it was ruled ineligible (containing excerpts from the original Swan Lake).

The list of nominees continue....

Best of the Best of 2010

Instruction: kindly read the following excerpt with a British accent

I do believe that it is still not late for me to present a list of movies that made 2010 a memorable year .I finally got to watch The King's Speech last night and when I woke up this morning I found myself thinking and talking like King George VI. Very well then, let us move on to a more pressing matter. In the light of the upcoming Academy Awards to be held in February this year, I feel obligated to provide a comprehensive summary of possible nominees for the most coveted award of the night: Best Picture of 2010. Following that, using a considerable amount of wit, vigor and valor, I will try my very best to produce my own prediction as to which of the possible nominees will most likely be crowned the best of the best for the year of 2010. And the nominees are:

The Social Network

Directed by: David Fincher

Written by: Aaron Sorkin, Ben Mezrich

Actors: Jessie Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake

Achievements so far: 17 wins and 22 nominations, including 4 wins at the recent Golden Globe Awards for Best Picture (Drama), Best Director (David Fincher), Best Screenplay and Best Original Score.

What makes this movie great:

This is a movie about the founding of facebook. If this is a superhero movie, it would be called Facebook: The Origin. This movie centers on a Harvard undergrad, Mark Zuckerberg (Jessie Eisenberg), a computer programming genius, a nerd and a social outcast (who managed to piss off a whole load of people which explains why he spends most of the movie in a meeting room filled with lawyers and a throng of angry people). Director David Fincher did a wonderful job transcribing a book about the founders of facebook  to the big screen and instead of presenting this movie in the form of a documentary filled with interviews and commentaries or another John Grisham's courtroom drama, he chooses to focus on the human drama behind the creation of one the world's greatest invention of the 20th century. Who knew that the world's largest social network was created by a social outcast who until today is still without any real friends (he lost his GF at the start of the movie and his BFF at the end, i won't be surprised to find Mark on the next episode of The Bachelor or come up with his own My New BFF series). This movie has all the elements of an award-winner, superb direction, great acting by the casts: Jesee Eiesenberg is excellent as the caffeine-laden, fast-talking, borderline hyperactive Mark, Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake provided commendable support as rivals vying for the coveted role of Mark's BFF and an entertaining score to liven up the mood of the whole movie. However, I do believe that there is an ulterior motive behind the many wins this movie has garnered so far. This movie is extremely popular in the United States for one simple reason: this is the all-American movie. This is a movie about an American kid who manage to conquer the world just  by sitting in front of the computer. He eventually became the world's youngest billionaire and proves that America can still do it despite the grave conditions of the world's economy. This movie carries the torch of the American economic reform, sending a message  to all Americans and the entire world that if a kid from Harvard can do it so can we, America will prevail. Last year, Katherine Bigelow's war drama, The Hurt Locker won an Oscar for Best Picture for depicting America as the victim (rather than the scoundrel) in 2003's invasion of Iraq and I strongly believe that this year, the Oscar belongs to The Social Network.

The King's Speech

Directed by: Tom Hooper 

Written by: David Siedler 

Actors: Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter, Geoffrey Rush

Achievements so far: 7 wins and 39 nominations, received 7 nominations in the recent Golden Globes but only won an acting nod for Colin Firth's excellent performance as King George VI. Nominated for a total of 14 awards in the upcoming BAFTA (the British equivalent of the Academy awards) including for Best Picture, Best Director and Best Actor for Colin Firth.

What makes this movie great:

I finally got my copy of this movie last night and proceeded without haste to finish the movie despite suffering from flu which resulted in a mild headache which i must admit is a nuisance but was not severe enough to impair my judgment. So before, dismissing this review as an incessant ramblings of a delirious man suffering from high grade fever, i must assure you that at the time this review is written, the fever has completely subsided and my brain function is completely restored to its former glory. This movie centers on a monarch with a speech defect who managed to overcome all adversities and emerged as the voice of the nation with the help of a speech therapist with unconventional methods who later became his best friend. At the heart of this movie is the story of a bond formed between two individuals from different social standings: a reigning monarch and a commoner, a therapist (without any degree) who believes that the problem with speech defects lie deeper than pure mechanics and the only way to cure stammer is to overcome fear. The Duke of York has many things to fear: his father, King George V is dying, his brother shows zero interest in state's affair and focuses his undivided attention to a married woman and his royal subjects think he's unfit to be the King because of his stammer. In fact the only person who genuinely believes in his greatness is his therapist whom despite his unconventional methods managed to cure his stammer and made him the King that he's meant to be. This movie is the favorite in the upcoming BAFTA awards for obvious reasons: superb direction, brilliant performances by the cast: Colin Firth deserves all the attention for his performance as the tortured King George VI,  Goeffry Rush is brilliant as the speech therapist and Helena shines in her few non-eccentric roles. The cinematography is perfect, depicting an otherwise dreary pre-war London in soft, pastel-colored tone accentuating the various human emotions emanating from every scene.

And the list of nominees continues...........................

the theme song that was more famous than the movie

A Retrospective Review of Malaysian Horror

Introduction:

Malaysian loves horror, in fact, they love horror so much as soon as a new horror is released, tickets are snatched so fast you have to book a few days in advance just to see a movie. Horror is the only genre in this country that can guarantee big bucks for the producers (which explains why David Teo is one of the most successful producer in this country). In celebration of the recent release of Khurafat, a new horror produced by Yusof Haslam (and directed by his son), let us revisit all the horror movies released in this country the past few years and hopefully by the end of this review, we can finally uncover the answer to the biggest mystery of them all: why do we keep failing with a genre that is so close to our heart?

The 80's

The 80's was dominated by four main genres: soppy dramas (Tiada Esok Bagimu, Esok Masih Ada etc), slapstick comedy (with AR Badul and his protege Mr.Os), romantic comedies (Ali Setan, Adik Manja etc.) and of course, horrors. Out of these four, horror remains the favorite with fans (which explains why Indonesia was so eager to produce multiple collaborative efforts with our country at that time). Noorkumalasari (now retired for good) was the reigning queen of horror during that period, she was  the lead in more than a few movies including those produced by our neighbor Indonesia. Among the many movies she starred in, the most outstanding has got to be Rahsia. 

Rahsia (1987)       

Directed by: Othman Hafsham     

Who's in it: Noor Kumalasari, Yusof Haslam.

Achievements: This movie won two awards in Festival Filem Malaysia back in 1987 for Best Picture and Best Director but unfortunately not an acting nod for Noorkumalasari. 

The story:

This movie starts with a newlywed couple moving in to an old bungalow by the sea with their two children. One of the children drowned while swimming in the sea one day and following that the mother (Noorkumalasari) is constantly haunted by the ghost of a child which she initially thought was her daughter. At the end of the movie, she unveiled a horrifying secret hidden within the walls of the haunted bungalow: the remains of a child, an heir to a rich family killed by a jealous relative who died a horrible death at the end of the movie  (stabbed in the abdomen with iron railings while trying to climb over a gate). This movie is the perfect example of classic movie making. Back in the 80s, without the help of special effects and CGIs, directors relied heavily on solid story telling, creative camera works and most importantly strong performances by the leads. There were no ghosts (with long black hairs and bad make-up) crawling all over the place, tok imams with special powers throwing around energy balls or bodies floating in mid-air. The suspense built throughout the movie was so palpable, you can't help but feel what the lead is going through and sympathize with her conditions. This movie reminds me of another horror classic, Poltergeist (Tobe Hooper, Steven Spielberg, 1982).

The 90s
The 90s was better known for the downfall of the horror genre. The Ministry of Information that time was headed by a strict, conservative old man and by his decree horror movies are banned on the grounds of inciting people to worship the supernatural. For many years, directors steered away from this genre, concentrating on comedies and dramas to fill in the gaps. Aziz M.Osman dominated with comedies and Suhaimi Baba started the "new drama" wave with movies like Ringgit Kasorga (1995) and Layar Lara (1997).

2000

2004 was a historical moment for Malaysian horror fans. After so many years, FINAS has finally lifted the ban and Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam became the first horror movies ever shown in the cinemas. After going through countless cuts and controversies surrounding its release, this movie was finally released to loud applause by both fans and critics. Did this movie deserved all the accolades it received?

Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam (2004)

Written & directed by: Suhaimi Baba

Who's in it: Maya Karin, Ida Nerina, Kavita Kaur, Eizlan Yusof, Azri Iskandar, Rosyam Nor.

Achievements: Best Actress nod for Maya Karin in the Asia Pacific Film Festival (2004).

The story:

This story is about the vengeful spirit of a gamelan dancer who was unjustly killed by a jealous suitor after refusing him many times. She was pregnant at that time and before bleeding to death, she miraculously gave birth to a baby girl who grew up to become a beautiful woman who looks exactly like her. She now works in a resort owned by the descendants of her mother's killer which is haunted by a ghost (with long black hair and bad make-up) who turns out to be the spirit of her dead mother who possess her body at night and goes around wreaking havoc looking for a pair of ankle bracelets. Confused? So was I. I guess both fans and critics that time were so hungry for horror that the first movie they get was considered a masterpiece. After making it big with drama, Suhaimi Baba (overly confident after all the accolades she gets from her previous efforts) decided to try her hands at directing horror. This movie presents horror in a new light, a combination of horror and romance with a historical background (pretty much like what Nonzee Nimibutr did with Nang Nak in 1999). The script needs serious reworking, half of the cast can't even speak in Malay (including Maya Karin who talks with a thick Indonesian accent), the time line was too confusing (you can't make out who's who, where and when without getting a headache), the arts direction looks cheap and childish and the story lacks continuity that the momentum of the movie is quickly lost in all the confusion. No wonder this movie is more famous for its theme song (Pulangkan sung by Misha Omar) rather than the movie itself. I guess she must be so confident after Maya Karin's win that she went on to make two horror movies after PHSM (PHSM 2 in 2005 and Waris Jari Hantu in 2007 which won four awards in FFM 2007 including Best Director despite losing to Cinta for Best Picture). On the scale of 1 to 10, I will give all three movies a 3 for the director's effort in reintroducing the Malaysian audience to the horror genre and paving the way for future directors to dive in the world of the supernatural, the biggest money making machine in the Malaysian movie industry.

  

To be continued.........................

enjit enjit semut sape sakit naik atas

Khurafat: Movie Review

Written & directed by: Shamsul Yusof
Genre: Horror.     
Rating: PG13 or 18PL (for violence, horror and religious content).
Who's in it: Syamsul Yusof, Liyana Jasmay, Sabrina Ali, Fauziah Nawi.

The story (warning, spoilers ahead): 

This movie centers around Johan (Syamsul), a medical assistant working  in the morgue at a government hospital. After visiting his mother (Fauziah Nawi) in the village, he started seeing ghastly apparitions haunting him wherever he goes. His condition became worse when his ex-lover Anna (Sabrina Ali) suffers from nervous breakdown and blames his wife (Liyana) for ending their relationship. After failing to convince Johan to leave his wife, Anna stabbed herself to death. Johan, feeling guilty for Anna's death, volunteered to arrange for her funeral which involves transporting her body across a godforsaken road in the middle of the night, plunging down a ravine in a van, carrying a dead body across the jungle, getting chased by a horny ghost and in the end waking up from a coma only to die again after a few minutes but not before getting flash backs of his past deeds which explains the origin of the horny ghost. 

Is it worth watching? 

Most Malay movies suffers from the director's apparent lack of attention for details. Here are some of the details the director might have missed:

1. For a movie that is shot almost entirely on hospital grounds, the director sure didn't do his homework. In the  scene where Johan's mother gets admitted for having breathing difficulties, she was seen lying flat on a hospital bed (she was supposed to be propped up) and  attached to a high flow mask when the bag wasn't even inflated. The worse mistake was when Johan wakes up from a coma (he suffered severe trauma after the crash) but was not even attached to a ventilator. No hospital in this country would have all the lights in the ward turned off at night (this is to prevent the nurses from falling asleep and missing a patient in distress). Perhaps the director is trying to create an eerie setting for the movie but the whole premise just seems wrong.
2. I still can't decide on Johan's position in the mortuary. He hardly wears a uniform, in fact the only uniform he wears is a white shirt and black pants which means he's a medical assistant (MA) but most MAs i know wears their shirt tucked in. 
3. Recycling the same scenes over and over takes away the suspense in a horror movie. The director used too much of the "look behind your shoulder" and "what's that above your head" and the "i think there's something hiding in the bushes" approach that halfway throughout the movie, most of the audience were having fun guessing where the ghost is going to appear from.
4. A makcik living in a kampung doesn't go around talking to strangers like in a romantic novel. Nobody says words like "seolah-olah" or "seumpama" while chatting and the scene where the camera focuses on the picture of the makcik's son (who is supposed to look like Johan but with spectacles ) was just hilarious.
5. Syamsul Yusof should stop making himself the lead the next time he directs a movie (think Evolusi KL Drift 1 & 2 and Bohsia Jangan Pilih Jalan Hitam). He might be a talented director but I personally think, he should spend more time behind the scene (until he takes some classes to improve his acting skills).

Enough said, do i think this movie is exceptionally bad? NO, I've seen worse, I might dedicate a special post on all the bad horror movies ever made in this country including movies made by more experienced directors like Suhaimi Baba. I really hate a movie that has such a promising trailer but in the end disappoints in so many ways. I really feel that this movie has all the potential to become a new horror classic, the script needs rewriting, the horny ghost needs better make-up, the leads need better acting and Syamsul Yusof needs to spend less time in front of the camera and concentrate on being a better director and a champion for the next generation of local directors (just like his father once was).

The snob's verdict: 5/10.

If you're looking for a good horror movie, try Ahmad Idham's Jangan Pandang Belakang or if you're in for comedies with supernatural theme try Mamat Khalid's Zombie Kampung Pisang or the recent Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah or Ismail Bob Hasim's Ngangkung.

introducing S. Carrey (from Bon Iver)

Surviving Depression

I have a confession to make. I am currently suffering from depression. Depression is not just  about feeling sad and miserable. Depression is a mood disorder which effects you mentally and physically and this combination of psychosomatic manifestations can be so debilitating that at its most severe form causes significant impairment to your daily functioning. Depression drains all your energy and makes you loose your passion for everything in life and the only thing you're thinking of is dying. That's how severe depression can be, so the next time your friend tells you he's depressed, try to be more understanding. Depression is not a sign of weakness, depression is a disease and needs urgent intervention to prevent the worse ending for a severely depressed person, suicide. In case you're wondering, here are some of the symptoms a depressed person might be suffering from (taken from DSM-IV criteria for diagnosing major depressive episode): 

1. Depressed mood and in children and adolescents may manifest as irritable mood. To tell you the truth, i suffer from both. I find myself getting cranky these days, small insignificant things irritate me, i hate people for no apparent reason, i feel angry without a logical explanation. Anger drains your energy, it makes you tired and lethargic and all that negative energy inside of me doesn't burst out but digs deeper and deeper making me even more miserable than ever. I feel sad especially when i'm online, i just don't understand why i can't be happy like most of my friends.
2. Anhedonia. A word that means severe lack of interest or pleasure in all or almost all things that you usually find pleasurable and exciting. I am a movie buff, i've been planning to watch a number of movies before they announce the winner for this year's Golden Globe tonight. I tried watching a movie the other day but after 10 minutes, I find myself thinking about another movie and in the end I just switched off the TV and went to sleep and never watched another movie since then. I love cooking, i cooked the other day, in fact i'm cooking right now while i'm writing this article but cooking just feels like an automatic, passionless activity, i just hope i won't end up ruining lunch today. Exercise is good to elevate your mood, when you exercise, your body releases endorphin that makes you happy. I enjoy swimming but every small details about the pool irritates me that going there just seems worthless.
3. Insomnia or hypersomnia. Insomnia means lack of sleep and hypersomnia means excessive sleeping. I find it hard to sleep these days, just the other day, i was wide awake up to 4 o'clock n the morning, i blamed it on the glass of frappucino i had but the more i think about it, it's just depression kicking in. Last night, i slept at 9 and after that, wakes up every 2 hours for no apparent reason.
4. Psychomotor agitation or retardation. I worry about ten thousand things but I can't find a single real thing that needs worrying. Restlessness takes joy away from life. You're constantly agitated and the symptoms are just terrible: cold sweats, dry skin, burning throat, trembling fingers, blurry eyes. You keep having these nightmares, some so real you wake panting but glad it was all just a dream.
5. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness.I find writing on my blog increasingly difficult these days. A simple page which I can usually finish in a single seating now takes a few days to complete. I was hungry just now but couldn't decide where to go for lunch, i keep changing my mind that my friend gets irritated and I finally settled for something I don't really want. The problem is I keep forgetting what I had for lunch just now. I'm still not sure what will happen tomorrow when I start working, can I make it through the day?
6. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt. I may have done something I shouldn't have but obsessing about how I shouldn't have done it in the first place is just not normal. I have all the reasons to feel worthless: i feel ugly, poor, unappreciated, despicable. I feel that i've wronged so many people and I keep asking my close friends if for any reason i might have caused them to hate me. A simple word or even no word at all is mistaken as a sign of hate and resentment. Are they real or am I just being delusional?
7. Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain. I think i've gained a few kilos over the past few days from eating at irregular hours, too much sugar and fat and not going for any exercises. I just feel tired most of the time and going for my regular swim just seems worthless. My sugar craving becomes uncontrollable, I had donuts (lots of them), bars of chocolates and super sweet ice blended whatevers. I've been avoiding the weighing scales lately but my bulging waist tells me that i'm gaining even more weight i've ever gained these past few months. 

Some may write this off as an attempt to gain everyone's attention. I don't need attention, I don't need your sympathy and this is NOT a desperate cry for help. I just need to explain to my friends why i'm feeling a bit down lately. I'm sick and i need time to recover. In the mean time, I hope all my friends will bear with my occasional tantrums and if at any time you feel like abandoning me, feel free to do so. I won't blame anyone, I only blame myself. 

The Best Tomyam in Town

I was in my friend's car the other day when he asked me a very interesting question: where can you  find a bowl of really good tom yam in Penang? After a long and exhaustive debate we manage to shortlist the contenders to three restaurants located in Sg. Ara. 

Contender #1: Pak Hussein Tomyam

How to get there: This restaurant is located in a residential area somewhere in Sg.Ara. If you're coming from Bayan Baru, go straight after you passed Giant Hypermarket and when you reach the crossroad with a traffic light, go straight and once you pass Ara Cafe you can see a brightly lit restaurant with a huge neon tomyam bowl on the rooftop. Price: Very affordable. 

What is great about this place?

Pak Hussein is located in a double story house modified into a cosy restaurant able to accommodate approximately 100 customers at any given time. If you're looking for a secluded place for a quiet conversation, this is not the place for you. This place is constantly jam-packed with customers (despite the rapid turnover) that sometimes finding a seat is just impossible. The service is fast (except of course during peak hours which is roughly around 9pm to 11pm) but if you're too hungry to wait, you can always go for a plate of sotong kangkung or yong tau foo from the stall located within the restaurant. Try not to order satay from this stall, the satay is hard, the gravy runny and the wait is just too long. So, what to order? As a regular customer (which means i've tried almost everything on the menu) i present to you this list of my personal favorites: ayam goreng gajus (boneless chicken pieces cooked with generous amount of crunchy cashew nuts and dried chillies), cendawan goreng (shredded oyster mushroom cooked in a thick sauce of turmeric, oyster sauce and egg),kailan ikan masin (crunchy kai lan stir fried with ikan masin), sizzling tofu (Japanese egg tofu cooked on a hot plate, order this and you'll be the center of everyone's attention) and not to forget a bowl of tomyam campur. This place is not famous for seafood but in case you're in the mood,  try the Siakap Tiga Rasa (crispy deep fried siakap drizzled in sweet sour sauce) or Kheing Som Siakap (a dish that reminds me of the local asam pedas). The drinks come in tall glasses but half of it is filled with ice, my personal favorite being Tomato Susu (unripe tomatoes blended with condensed milk served chilled).

Contender #2: Bangkok Tomyam 

How to get there: Describing how to get to Bangkok Tomyam is not an easy task. This place is located in a secluded corner of a kampung in Bayan Lepas. For those familiar with this area, Bangkok is located on the same road as the famous pasar malam Bayan Lepas. Price: Same affordable price as Pak Hussein.

What is great about this place? 
If you're looking for a place where you can just sit down, relax and have a quiet conversation with your friends, this is the perfect place for you. Bangkok is located in the middle of  a secluded kampung in Bayan Lepas away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Bangkok serves almost the same dishes as Pak Hussein (PH), which explains why it is so difficult to decide which one is better than the other.I tried all my favorite PH dishes in Bangkok and I find that they are both equally good except for their vegetable dishes where PH fairs better. I tasted sotong goreng tepung (squid dipped in batter and deep fried) in both places and I personally feel that you can safely give this dish a miss. Nasi goreng is not part of these restaurant's repertoire but I do find the nasi goreng in Bangkok better by comparison. If you're in the mood for a light dinner, try ordering a plate of nasi goreng belacan or nasi goreng kampung and have this with an omelet and a bowl of tomyam campur. The drinks in Bangkok are equally good as PH.

Contender #3: Ara Cafe
How to get there: Ara Cafe is located on the same road leading to PH. Right after you pass the traffic light at the crossroad, you'll come across a restaurant just a few meters away from where PH is located. Price:  I think in way the proprietor of all three places have decided on a ceiling price which explains why the prices of dishes in all three places are almost the same. 

What is great about this place? 
I have to confess that i've never been to Ara Cafe before. Therefore, it would be unfair for me to say anything about this place without even stepping my foot in this premise. Word of mouth is this restaurant is famous for tomyam putih (white tomyam) which is not really white but is actually clear but equally spicy and sour, the tastes coming from bird eye chillies (cili burung) and lime respectively.

The snob's verdict: 
So to answer the question, who makes the best bowl of tomyam?

To be continued.....................

the real black swan

Black Swan: Movie Review

Directed by: Darren Aronofsky.
Writers: Mark Heyman, Andres Heinz.
Rating: 18 SG (for graphic violence and sexual contents)
Who's in it: Natalie Portman (Nina), Mila Kunis (Lily), Vincent Cassel (Leroy), Winona Ryder (Beth M), Barbara Hershey (Nina's mom).


The story (warning, spoilers ahead):

Black Swan takes us backstage to one of the world's most prestigious live performance, the ballet. Acclaimed ballet director, Leroy (Vincent Cassel) decided to open the season with a new interpretation of the Swan Lake. In his version, both the white and black swans will be played by the same lead (which means whoever gets the role will be crowned the new "queen" of the troupe). Thus begins the story of Nina (Natalie Portman), a ballerina struggling to reach the top at the price of her own sanity and in the end her life (yes, Nina died at the end of the movie just like the white swan). After going through a disappointing audition, she decided to pay a "personal" visit to the director's office and was eventually named the new swan queen. That is when the problem starts. Nina suffers from nervous breakdown after being pushed to her limit by both the director and her mother. The director urging her to shed her frigid, seemingly perfect image to better embody the evil side of the black swan while her neurotic mother (a retired ballerina who blames Nina for ending her career) refuses to let her grow and treats her like the perfect little white swan she never got to be. She suffers from depression, paranoia and  hallucinations which eventually lead to her death at the end of the movie.

Is it worth watching?
Black swan is a psycho thriller. Director Darren Aronofsky gave us a peek at the ugly truth behind the seemingly perfect world of ballet. Despite their graceful appearance on stage, the dancers suffer from insecurities, jealousy, unrequited love, repressed sexual desires and severe case of eating disorders. Nina is the perfect representation of an artist suffering for her arts. The whole movie centers around her transformation from the frigid, stiff and emotionless white swan to the sexually charged, violent and murderous black swan. The scene where the black swan stabs the white swan in the stomach with a piece of broken glass and left her to die gave me chills down the spine. The liberal use of CGI was perfectly executed to enhance the visual hallucinations she gets throughout the movie. Her eventual transformation into the black swan, sprouting pitch black wings from her body is a scene not to be missed. A word of caution, be prepared for some heavy dose of female masturbation and lesbian sex scenes. This movie is definitely NOT for family viewing.

Awards buzz:
This movie is up for four awards in the upcoming Golden Globe: Best Motion Picture (Drama), Best Performance by an Actress in Motion Picture (Drama) for Natalie Portman, Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role (Drama) for Mila Kunis and Best Director for Darren Oronofsky. This movie is up against not one but two globe favorites: The Social Network and The King's Speech.  Darren Oronofsky faces tough competition from fellow directors Christopher Nolan (Inception), David Fincher (The Social Network) and Tom Hooper (The King's Speech). Mila Kunis has little chance at clinching an award for her limited appearance (but not limited in talent, and at times she even manage the  steal the scene). I am rooting for Natalie Portman to clinch her first ever Globe for her wonderful portrayal of a beautiful ballerina with serious mental issues. Her only rival for the night would be Halle Berry for an equally disturbing portrayal of a woman suffering from split personality (another mental case) and Nicole Kidman as a mother battling with depression after losing her son in a car accident (yet another mental case). Judging from the severity of their onscreen symptoms, I believe Natalie Portman has the best chance at winning this year's globe for best actress and hopefully an Oscar in the upcoming Academy Awards.

The snob's verdict: 8/10 (but very close to 9)
If you're itching for another psycho-thriller with a lesbian theme, i strongly recommend Chloe by Eton Egoyan.

best performance of the night

the song i wish had won

the song that won

Anugerah Juara Lagu (AJL) 25: Review (part 2)

The result:
For those of you not tuning to AJL 25 last night, here is the list of last night's winners:

1. Best performance: Faizal Tahir for Hanyut 
2. Best vocal: Hafiz (AF7) for Noktah Cinta
3. Second runner-up: Noktah Cinta by Hafiz (AF7) (Ajai/ Sheikh Qalam)
4. First runner-up: Drama King by Meet Uncle Hussein feat. Black  (Taja/ Tun Teja)
5. Best song of 2010: Tolong Ingatkan Aku by Ana Raffali (Ana Raffali)

Did Faizal Tahir deserve to win for Best Performance?

YES. Faizal Tahir sang two songs last night, Hanyut and Selamat Malam and for both performances he went to the extreme to please the juries. For Selamat Malam, he got some well-known actors e.g. Nurkhiriah, Aziz Satar (& wife) and  Fatimah Bakar (& daughter) to act in a short skit revolving around various individuals saying a very long good night to each other. For Hanyut he staged a David Blaine inspired escape act complete with a video showing him struggling with a straight jacket underwater and coming up wet on stage. He won this award for Hanyut but personally i think the award is for the effort he put into both of his performances. 

Did Hafiz deserve to win for Best Vocal?

PROBABLY NOT.  When Hazami won Best Vocal for Katakan in 2005, it got a lot of people thinking what Best Vocal really means for AJL? Despite the song being a fast number and involve a lot of dancing, Hazami manages to keep his voice under control throughout his performance. Last night, Hafiz from AF7 competed against a throng of artists who have better skill in the arts of vocal acrobats. Black from Mentor was the obvious choice for this award. The duet by Noh Hujan & Azlan (from Azlan & the Typewriter) was seemingly perfect, rivaling any other duets ever featured on AJL. Adira gave a slightly nervous but still energetic performance despite having to deliver her final note a few feet from the ground. The reason why the judges gave this award to Hafiz still eludes me to this very moment. My friend claimed that among all the contestants last night, Hafiz's vocal quality is the best i.e. the exact copy of his studio recording. I beg to differ. I feel that the vocal ability of an artist is best judged during a live performance where the artist is able to bring a varied but creative vocal delivery of the song to match the change in the song arrangements. That separates a singer from a performer and I just don't feel that Hafiz is one. 

Did Noktah Cinta deserve to be the second runner-up? 

PROBABLY NOT. I have to admit that this is one of the most surprising win to me. I have my own theory why Noktah Cinta received the nod as second runner-up in last night's AJL. I believe that instead of classifying the songs in genres like before, the contending songs were categorized into three main groups i.e. the singer-songwriters, the bands and the reality show alumni. Among the reality show alumni featured last night were Adira, Stacy and Shahir from Akademi Fantasia, Black from Mentor, Tomok from OIAM and of course Hafiz also from Akademi Fantasia. Adira, Stacy and Shahir all sang songs written by Edry (of the famous KRU brothers). Hafiz sang a song written by the "great" Ajai, touted as one of the most revered names in the local music industry. Black and Tomok both sang songs written by relative unknowns. Edry have this talent to write catchy, popular sing-a-long songs but unfortunately is quite weak when it comes to writing poetic, meaningful lyrics. The songs by the unknowns were not strong enough to leave any lasting impression which leaves Ajai as the obvious choice for the winner in this category (by the way, Ajai is actively involved in various reality shows produced by TV3 ).

Is Tolong Ingatkan Aku really the best song for the year 2010?

PROBABLY YES, MAYBE NOT. I still can't decide since i'm still reeling from the shock i got from Yuna not being in the top three in last night's AJL. The battle of the singer-songwriters was fought by three very talented artists i.e. Yuna, Faizal Tahir and of course, Ana Raffali, the eventual winner of the coveted Best Song for 2010. I was really rooting for Yuna to be at least in the top three spot as I personally feel that Cinta Sempurna is stronger than Tolong Ingatkan Aku in terms of lyrics and melody. This category has the biggest, most promising talents compared to the other two and obviously, the winning party will have to bear the consequences of being criticized by loyal fans of the losers. Faizal Tahir is never disappointing when it comes to performing for AJL but the two songs he performed last night has been sang so many times in so many occasions that they come out stale and overexposed. Yuna's performance was classy, down to earth and real without all the drama and wardrobe changes in Ana's performance. Ana should have stick with her usual "sing with my kebaya and guitar" routine which suits her better.

The snob's verdict:

Would this long winded essay about last night's AJL change the fact that Ana Raffali won and Yuna wasn't even in the top three? NO. Would it serve as a consolation to my broken heart? NO. Would last night's result make me regret buying Yuna's album just one day before AJL to show my undying support for her talent? NO. Would it make me stop buying Yuna's album in the future and run to the store tomorrow to get a copy of Ana's album? NO. Will I stop being Yuna's fan? NOT in a million chance. Do I hate Ana Raffali? NO. Do I still Love Yuna? YES.

Anugerah Juara Lagu (AJL) 25: Review

The show: 

Malaysians all over the country were divided into three major groups last night: those watching Anugerah Juara Lagu 25 (AJL 25), those watching the match between Manchester United and Liverpool and those who might or might not be in front of the TV but oblivious to the fact that these two events actually took place last night. I belong to the first group, among many supporters of a certain singer-songwriter whom i've recently taken interest in and sorely disappointed that she didn't even make it to the top three. So if you happen to be one of those people from the last group, this is what you might have missed. 

The first few minutes of AJL is very crucial in setting up the mood of the whole show. This year in celebration of 25 years of the longest running chart show in the country, the producers have decided to showcase a performance by two former winners of the coveted Best Song title since the show started. Francesca Peters started the ball rolling with a heartfelt rendition of Sekadar di Pinggiran, the winner of the first ever AJL back in 1986. This is followed by a slightly over the top performance by elected head jury and three time winner of AJL (1994, 1997, 1999), M. Nasir with Tanya Sama Itu Hud Hud and Ghazal Untuk Rabiah. 

This year's competition is one of the toughest to date. Without the presence of a crowd favorite, all songs stand equal chance at making it to the top three. By stripping off the old genre system, the juries are given more freedom to choose the best three songs without being confined to choosing one song from each genre and deciding which genre deserves to win the coveted title of Best Song of the Year. In a way, most of the artist contending last night realized that just singing their songs is not enough to win the prizes offered for grab. For that reason, majority of the performances last night were over the top trying to overdo each other with disappearing acts (Hafiz for Noktah Cinta) , flying acrobats (Adira for Ada Kamu), David Blaine's escape act  (Faizal Tahir for Hanyut) and the old high school three-in -one, poetry reading/ singing/ theatrical act with a dramatic end (Shahir for Kebahagiaan Dalam Perpisahan) which comes out stale, boring and out of sync with the rest of the performances last night. 

Despite the stadium being jam-packed with fans, the mood of the whole show was somewhat muted. This is partly due to the absence of seasoned singers e.g. Siti Nurhaliza and Ziana Zain (who help push the rating sky high especially when they're competing against each other), lack of sing-along tunes (most of the songs featured last night never made it to the karaoke box) and the fact that majority of the songs last night were composed by young tortured souls baring their heart on the sleeves of their baju kurung, baju kebaya or whatever they're wearing. A bigger part of the problem lies in the three hosts who has been doing this for the past six years but still unable to bring any significant change despite the show being in its 25th year. Cheryl Samad, Faizal Ismail and Ally Iskandar has almost zero chemistry together. Ally is just too damn frigid, Cheryl seems bored, unable to entertain herself with Faizal Ismail's goofy antics and Faizal being the clown of the trio continuously delivers ridiculous one-liners which are more misses than hits. This is probably due to the fact that the performers last night took too much time getting ready backstage that they were forced to come up with impromptu, out of script lines just to occupy the long break in between performances.

To me, the highlight of the whole show was the performance by the three great divas, Sharifah Aini, Ziana Zain and Siti Nurhaliza. Kak Pah well-known for forgetting the lyrics to her own songs got some help from a cleverly disguised screen on stage (it doesn't help that her eyes were constantly fixed on the screen with the camera focusing on her face throughout her performance). Ziana Zain delivered the best performance of her classics, Anggapanmu and Madah Berhelah (with a new arrangement, accompanied by an orchestra) in a gorgeous dark blue evening gown. Siti Nurhaliza gave a spectacular finish with three songs that puts the word creative in Etnik Kreatif  i.e. Cindai, Badarsila and Balqis (Cindai and Balqis were crowned Best Song in the year 1998 and 2000 respectively) accompanied by a troupe of dancers wearing Arabian night inspired garbs. This performance got the fans screaming and shouting and literally jumping up from their seats.

The result:

To be continued......................

introducing Reza Salleh

Char Koey Teow Telur Basuh

Location: Permatang Pauh, Seberang Perai, Penang.
How to get there: take the PLUS highway heading towards Alor Setar,take the Permatang Pauh/ Bukit Mertajam exit, go straight after the traffic light and at the T junction turn right and from there you can already see a brightly lit jam-packed stall by the side of the road.
Specialties: Char Koey Teow
Concept: Street Food, Open Kitchen, Friendly Neighborhood Stall.
Opening Hours: 5pm to 1 am, opened every day even on public holidays except for Hari Raya maybe.


Is it worth the long trip? 

Every time someone ask me to come along this long trip to Permatang Pauh for a plate of Koey Teow, I always find myself asking the same question, is it worth the long trip? In case you're wondering, I'm staying on the other side of the ocean on a small but overly congested island and the trip to Permatang Pauh would take me at least 30 minutes crossing the bridge on a clear traffic. The answer is YES. 

 To be honest CKT is not my favorite dish for dinner or any other meals of the day. CKT is a Chinese phrase and from my limited knowledge of that language i always taught that the word char refers to anything fried. This explains my surprise when I was first introduced to the Malay version of CKT which comes out wet, flooded with a thick dark sauce which presumably comes from the combination of prawn paste (belacan) and dark soy sauce (kicap pekat) stirred with egg and strewn with fat succulent prawns and tiny cockles (kerang) peeking out from beneath the thick strands of koey tow. This version seems much closer to koey teow hailam (koey teow cooked in dark soy sauce) rather than the crispy, slightly burnt and lighter colored version I once had in a Chinese Muslim stall which to me fits the definition of char more accurately. Most of my friends however, prefer to call this version "fried" koey teow (koey teow goreng) and swears by the former to be the authentic version of CKT despite its somewhat misleading appearance.

So what makes this char koey teow (CKT) so special? 

The CKT in this joint falls along the same line as in any other Malay CKT stall. However, instead of an extremely dark, belacan smelling sauce, you get a spicier, red with a tinge of caramel colored sauce with strands of eggs clinging to the almost translucent koey teow. A plate of  CKT special (you can choose from a choice of normal CKT or CKT biasa or go for the special) usually comes with six or seven pieces of fat, succulent, tasty looking prawns and tiny pieces of cockles. This is served with pickled green chillies ,a special condiment prepared by the owners made by soaking the chillies in a jar of vinegar, salt, sugar and water. The crispy, spicy-sweet taste of the pickled chillies compliment the soft texture of the koey toew soaked in the rich, thick sauce making them the perfect couple that leaves you wanting for more. 

The snob's verdict: 6/10. 

I haven't tasted as much CKT as I should have but judging from the few versions of  Malay CKT I've tried  namely Sani CKT in Bayan Baru and the now closed Key CKT in Seberang Jaya, I say this is so far the best. In case you're wondering what the name implies, telur basuh or washed egg means that all the eggs in this stall have been properly washed before being used. In other words, they are selling this idea that their stall place great value on hygiene when it comes to food. This joint is actually a huge open stall just beside the road and despite their fast customer turnover, they manage to keep the place pleasantly clean, without any fishy odor despite the huge amount of prawns used every day.The price is fairly reasonable considering the amount of prawns you get with each plate, RM 3.00 for CKT biasa and RM 4.00 for CKT special.

So, the next time I ask myself is it worth the long trip? The answer is YES.

PS: In case you're wondering why there's not a single photo accompanying this article, here's why. I was inspired by a Japanese movie about a bunch of local reporters trying to write a guide book on the best  tasting Udon in the whole district. They insist on a no photo rule for a simple reason. They want their readers to use their imagination. I want all of you to cling to every single words I write and imagine yourself having a nice steaming plate of CKT in a busy little stall by the side of the road with no air-conditioning except for fresh kampung air with a bunch of friends, everyone happily slurping every single strand of koey teow into their mouth. A picture will just ruin that.

try this for a change

Easy A: Movie Review

Directed by: Will Gluck

Who's in it: Emma Stone (Olive), Penn Badgley (Todd), Amanda Bynes (Marianne), Dan Byrd (Brandon), Cam Gigandet (Micah,), Lisa Kudrow (Mrs. Griffith),Stanley Tucci (Olive's father).

Genre:

One of the biggest challenge for an amateur reviewer like me is to place a movie in a certain genre. Genre can sometimes be unfair for a movie since classifying a movie in the wrong genre is like putting the wrong label on a bottle of expensive wine and making it look cheap (not like i've ever tasted expensive wine or even cheap ones because you see i don't drink). The point is, you should always use genre as a guide and use your common sense to decide what to make of the movie after watching it yourself and not simply take for granted the words of a self-proclaimed movie critic like me. 

However, if you insist, i will classify this movie under the following genres (i just don't feel comfortable assigning a single genre for any given movie): romantic comedy (without any actual romance), high school (the non-musical type).

The Story (warning, spoilers ahead): 

This movie started with Olive (Emma Stone) lying to her BFF (with the big boobs) about having a date with a guy to avoid going on camping trip with her BFF's family (her BFF comes from a family of nudist). She lied about having sex with her "imaginary date" but unfortunate for her, Marianne, the school's notorious leader of the" I Love Jesus" cult happens to hear about it and spread rumors about her being a slut to the whole school. The rumors went from bad to worse when her gay friend Brandon (Dan Byrd) asked her to help convince everyone that he's straight by having "imaginary sex" with her at a party (with everyone listening at the door). When she got fed up of denying all the rumors, she started dressing like a stripper and offered "imaginary sex" to half of the school's losers. Her breaking point came when the students staged a rally (started by none other than Marianne, after her so-called BF claimed he got Chlamydia from Olive) to get rid of her from school and almost got raped by her BFF's BF on a date. She was saved by her soon-to-be BF, Todd (Penn Badgely) and after hearing his confession about wanting to kiss her for real since grade school (she gave him an "imaginary kiss" when they were younger), she decided to end the rumor and make a live online telecast, confessing every single lie she ever told about her being the school's infamous skank and in the process exposing  the counselor's  (Lisa Kudrow) one night stand with a student (and giving him Chlamydia) among other things.

Is it worth watching?
If you like high school movies without a bunch of students jumping around singing and dancing from a tune that pops out of nowhere (like in Glee or High School Musical), this is the movie for you. In fact, this movie reminded me of Ten Things I Hate About You, another high school movie (which is now turned into a serial ) starring the great  Heath Ledger.  If TIHAY is loosely based on The Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeare, this movie draws its inspiration from the Scarlet Letter, an 1850 novel by Nathaniel Hawthorne. The heroine of this movie shares the same wise-cracking, "i'm a genius i don't belong in high school" attitude with the leading role made famous by Julia Stiles. This movie poses the same question asked in so many American high school movies: what it means to be popular? However, the creators of this movie decided to pose this question from a slightly unconventional  perspective: would you go all the way to stake your own virginity for the sake of being popular? This movie talks about sex without showing real sex (since most of the sex in this movie are imaginary) which makes it an ideal family movie and a good candidate  for a sexual education video (if our government ever decides to make sexual education part of the high school program) . Emma Stone, Penn Badgley (he gets to take his shirt off, a lot in this movie), Cam Gigandet (he gets to keep his shirt on this time around),  the BFF with the huge boobs all make for delicious eye candy. The plot is engaging enough to make me glued to my seat, the screenplay is decent with some really "cool" lines, decent acting by the cast, no over the top ending with fireworks or kids dancing along some catchy tune that pops out of nowhere.
By the way if you're still wondering what the title of the movie means: easy as in easy to get laid and A is short for "adulterer". Olive got inspired by the book Scarlet Letter where a woman is wrongly accused of being an adulterer and was forced to wear an A on her dress before being sentenced to death. Olive wears a red A on her dress to school after being called a slut. 

The Snob's Verdict: 7/ 10. Definitely worth watching is you're itching for a high school movie minus the singing and dancing.

I love this song so much.

Introducing Amatuer Reviews

Dear friends, 

I will start this blog by stating why i chose to start by addressing all of you readers "friends". 

First and foremost, let me introduce myself as a lonely guy who is currently in desperate need of friends. Don't get me wrong, I am not a psycho living all alone in a dodgy motel who pretends to be his dead mother after killing her in cold blood. I am also not some geeky nerd who spends his time making millions of money every day just by sitting in front of the computer 24/7. 

I am in fact, an average person who wakes up every day feeling miserable on how lonely life can be without hordes of fans hungry to hear every single detail of my less than ordinary life through twitter or facebook status update. I am just your regular guy who works from 8 to 5 and goes home at the end of the day, sit in front of the TV after dinner and doze off only to wake up again every morning to the same mundane life. I am just like you unless you happen to be a celebrity which makes you unlikely to be my friend because celebrities don't have regular friends, they have celebrity friends and sadly i am not one of them. I plan to link this blog to my facebook wall and most people who visit my wall or give notice to any of my status update are my friends. Therefore, it is only logical to address all of you as my friends since that is exactly what you are, my friends. Hopefully, for the next few years i can get more friends by being friends with your friends and their friends and that's how you get the whole world to become your friend just by signing in to facebook everyday.

Enough idle chatter, lets get down to business. This blog is part of my new year's resolution and a form of therapy to lift myself up from the deepest chasm of depression which stems from:

1.  Being unpopular. I am one of those guys on facebook who is desperate enough to add complete strangers to my friend list. I hardly get any friend request and to add friends i simply go through my other friend's list and start sending random request to people i hardly know. Hopefully, by writing in this blog, more people would be interested to know me, be my friends and introduce their friends as my friends and we can all be part of a huge community of friends in this massive unfriendly world.
2. Being talented but having no means to show off my talent. I am that desperate to claim that I am a talented person. I think i am a good writer but being in this country i don't think I can survive on writing alone. I don't think  at any point in time i can get any of my works published and get people to spend their hard earned cash on something i write. I also think i can be a very good director and given the right resources i can make one helluva great movie. I  think i have a fairly decent voice but i don't think i will try out for any talent shows on TV in the near future. I'm too old for that anyway, way pass the qualification age. I can cook very well, i didn't say this myself but most people fortunate enough to taste my cooking says so, so i choose to believe them. However, i am still not sure that people would actually pay money to eat what i cook. I can also take pretty nice pictures with my digital camera but too lazy to learn photoshop to turn my any of the photos i took into serious artwork (please refer to the picture posted below and decide for yourself) . In a way, this blog allows me to present some of my talents free of charge since i won't be getting a single cent from what you see here.
3. Being a snob. I am a snob but not as bad a snob as some of my friends. I am blessed with good taste in things I like and this happens as a result of opening myself to various tastes and possibilities and through calculated decisions decide on a practical and very real system of classifying things as great, good, OK but could have been better, bad but can be improved or a total lost cause. I try to not be over-analyzing, seeing the positive sides before the negative but sometimes my expectation are just too high and everything just seems so disappointing. Most of the time, people just call me a snob, hate me and call me names but that's part of the trials and tribulations of being blessed with extremely good taste. I find it hard to find a fellow snob who can agree with you on most things since that's part of what being a snob is all about: disagreeing on most things which are generally agreeable since being a snob provides you with the privilege of finding ways to disagree with everything everyone else agrees on. It is my hope to find more fellow snobs so that we can argue and hate each other but once in a while come to a consensus on something and save everyone else with lesser taste the trouble of deciding whether something is worth venturing into. 

I am still wondering why i have to come up with all these reasons why i should write in my own blog but i guess the real reason why i'm doing this is to plead my case and hopefully someone will hear it out and find it strong enough to continue reading my next posts.

Till then. XOXO.

Signed. 

Mr. Jey (self-professed depressive, narcissistic and mostly pessimistic regular guy living next door to you and newly elected (by my dear friend Raja Syahrin Najmi) consultant psychologist specializing in break ups and depressive matters).