My New Love

Beastly: Movie Review

Directed & written by: Daniel Barnz
Based on: Beastly by Alex Flinn (2007)
Who's in it: Alex Pettyfer (Kyle, the Beast), Vanessa Hudgens (Lindy), Mary Kate Olsen (Kendra the Witch), Peter Krause (Kyle's dad).

The story:

Beastly is based on a teen novel of the same name written by Alex Flinn. This story is a modern day retelling of the classic fairy tale Beauty and the Beast set in an exclusive private school (the kind of school you see in Gossip Girl or Beverly Hills 90210) populated by mostly hot rich kids, some sad looking not so hot kids and a witch with a pair of hot boots. The hottest of the lot, Kyle (Alex Pettyfer) is a shallow, obnoxious, self-centered filthy rich guy whose only concern is looking hot all the time and hopefully one day fill in his dad's shoes as the hottest face on TV. He got cursed by the school resident witch, Kendra (Mary Kate Olsen) for the crime of being obnoxiously hot but in the end saved by Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens) a poor, not so good looking girl (she lives in the slum with his junkie dad, you have to wonder how she can afford studying in a private school) who showed him that beauty is not just skin deep. 

Is it worth watching?

I strongly advise anyone against watching this movie during a midnight screening. This movie is best seen on a small screen in the comfort of your own living room. This is one of those movies that you go to and weeks later, when your friend asked you what the movie is about, you look back at you're friend's face with a blank stare and say, " I have absolutely no idea". Go watch this movie if you're a huge fan of Vanessa Hudgens or if you've just watched I am Number Four and can't get enough of Alex Pettyfer's hot body. 

The snob's verdict: 3/10 

Totally forgettable. I won't be rushing to the bookstore to get a copy of the novel anytime soon. Go get yourself a copy of the animated Beauty and the Beast (1991) and watch Bella as she sings her way through the ice cold heart of the Beast.

Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa: Movie Review

Directed by: Yusry (KRU)
Written by: Yusry (KRU), Amir Hafizi
Also known as: The Malay Chronicles: Bloodlines
Who's in it: Stephen Rahman Hughes (Merong), Ummi Nazeera (Embok), Dato' Rahim Razali (Tok Kesum), Khir Rahman (Kemawas), Gavin Stenhouse (Prince Marcus), Jing Lusi (Princess Meng Li Hua), Craig Fong (Admiral Liu Yin).

The real Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa:

This movie is loosely based on an ancient Malay text, the Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa aka Sejarah Kedah. This text chronicles the history behind the founding of Langkasuka, an ancient kingdom founded by descendants of Merong Mahawangsa, a Roman official who got stranded in the northern part of Peninsular Malaysia after being attacked by a giant fire-breathing bird known as garuda. The kingdom of Langkasuka was later known as Kedah Tua.

The movie version (warning: spoilers ahead): 

Merong Mahawangsa is no longer a Roman official but a lowly sailor, a halfbreed (part Roman, part Malay) and an outcast (banned from almost every port in the world for his reputation as an internationally acclaimed womanizer). He was given a second chance at life (he was planned for an execution in Goa after sleeping with an Indian princess) when a Roman fleet, stranded in Goa requested his service to sail the treacherous waters of the South China Sea to reach Malaysian shores in time for the big wedding between a Roman prince and a Chinese princess. On Malaysian shores, they were attacked by a clan of pirates known as "garuda". The movie ended with a huge epic battle between the pirates and the combined forces of  the locals, the Chinese and the Roman fleet lead by Merong Mahawangsa which resulted in the complete annihilation of the pirates and sacrificing himself in the process.

Why i think this movie is an expensive piece of crap:

Calling a movie "epic" is a huge responsibility. Epic usually refers to a movie where everything is BIG: BIG budget (this movie cost around RM 10 million to make), BIG cast (this movie has the biggest number of international actors in a Malaysian movie: Stephen, Gavin and Jing Lusi are all based in London and Craig Fong hails from Australia), BIG effects and hundreds of supporting actors ("Pak Pacaks").  This movie has all the makings of a great Malaysian epic, so what went wrong?

1. The best word to describe the screenplay is CRAP. The creators of this movie were unable to decide on the type of movie they're making till the very end. It is not surprising that the screenwriter (Amir Hafizi) reworked the screenplay 17 times before coming up with the final piece of CRAP which became Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa. They were too many corny lines in this movie to mention here but imagine this scene: a surprise attack by the pirates causes everyone to flee in a state of shock and confusion, in the center of this chaos, a very Conan the Barbarian-like, Merong Mahawangsa gallantly fights a whole army of scrawny pirates, the camera focuses on Merong, he turns around and said (in English): "this is not fair, i told you one by one". It must have been difficult writing a script for an international cast: Merong speaks a confusing mix of flawless English (with a thick British accent), broken Malay and broken Mandarin. The Chinese princess and her trusted handmaiden talks mostly in English even when they're alone. The Romans speaks with a British accent and not in Latin or Greek like they're supposed to and the small selection of locals with  speaking parts (most of the locals communicate by nodding or incomprehensible shouting) speak in a weird mix of classical Malay, talking in riddles and flowery proses despite being barbarians.
2. The make-up and costume are CRAP. Dato' Rahim Razali must have received a huge paycheck just to stand around looking silly in his huge white wig, looking like an older and wiser version of the Monkey King. Merong's girlfriend (Ummi Nazeera) wears a dress which is too sexy for a "kampung girl" and his mother (Ummi Aida) dresses like a guy. The extras were extremely malnourished to pass as menacing pirates despite the BIG BOSS looking like a puffed up blow fish covered in fake tiger skin. 
3. The action choreography is a total rip-off of Ong Bak. Close combat scenes look impressive but lacks historical accuracy. Roman prince don't do kungfu and certainly not armed with a pair of nunchaks and iron claws were never part of traditional Malay weaponry. The silliest scene to me is  the climax of the first showdown between the pirates and the Chinese fleet. A whole army of pirates climbed on top of a two story watchtower to kill Merong. The camera closes up to the base of the tower where blood gushes down in gusto and in the background, you can hear victory cries claiming that Merong is dead. The whole army at the base of the tower then proceeded to bring down the tower with the most funny result, the tower fell on top of them killing everyone except for Merong, who despite loosing gallons of blood earlier is still able to stand up and gave a final war cry before collapsing on top of the mountain of dead pirates. Why go to all that trouble just to kill one person and end up killing themselves in the process? 
4. On a positive note, the cinematographer should be commended for making the movie look expensive by applying some neat filtering tricks giving the whole movie a dreamy, ethereal look but even that was not able to save this movie from sinking to the deepest recesses of the South China Sea along with pirates of the garuda clan. 

Let me just stop here, I think this short review is enough to illustrate how greatly annoyed I was with the movie. I personally think that KRU should be proud to put Malaysian cinema at a new level of mediocrity.

The snob's verdict: 2/10
Instead of watching this movie at the cinema, why not watch reruns of Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah on Astrofirst.

discovering rumer

Hotmas Restaurant

Location: Taman Lagenda Indah, Sg. Petani, Kedah. 

How to get there: If you're heading north on the PLUS highway, take the Sg. Petani (U) exit, at the first traffic light, take a left turn and from there keep straight (you'll pass a few traffic lights along the way) until you see Tesco and Village Mall ( a new shopping complex right in front of Tesco), take a right turn at the traffic light and from there, head straight until you see a sign with the words Taman Lagenda Indah. Hotmas is located at the end of a row of shop houses (it's the restaurant with the green neon signboard).

Specialties: This restaurant serves a huge selection of food including malay, fusion, western and thai cuisines. 

What we ordered?

My friends at the office have this wonderful thing called the monthly food escape: once a month a few days before "gaji", we'll come up with a dinner plan to heighten the excitement of "gaji" day and this month, we decided to pay a visit to Hotmas, all the way in Sg. Petani. As mentioned above, this restaurant serves a myriad of food to choose from, you can go for Malay, Thai, Fusion (which really means a small selection of Chinese-inspired dishes e.g. clay pot and sizzling noodles etc.) and Western dishes. This restaurant is famous for serving food in huge portions at a very affordable price. Our group was so huge that we occupied three long tables (we came in five separate cars) and as expected most of us chose to order Western dishes with only a few opting for Malay and fusion dishes.

The good:
Following a friend's recommendation, I ordered a dish called Bombay Hot & Spicy Chicken. This dish is made up of grilled chicken fillet served with spicy gravy garnished with chopped "cili api" (bird eye chillies). To get the most of the spicy experience, make sure you take a bite of the cili api together with the chicken and make sure to mop up enough gravy before putting everything in your mouth. Allow the heat to burn your tongue for a while before taking in another piece of chicken. This dish is perfect for chili lovers but I still feel that Nando's spicy sauce fair better than the one served here.  My personal favorite is the Chicken Maryland, I ordered this dish the first time I came here. Tender chicken fillet grilled to perfection (the surface slightly burned but with the flesh nicely cooked, tender and juicy to bite) served with a special sweet and sour pineapple flavored sauce. A slice of caramelized canned pineapple is placed on top of the chicken as garnish. The crowd favorite was Lamb Chop, huge pieces of grilled lamb served with a standard brown sauce with generous amount of  ground black pepper that burns down your throat. 

The bad:
The Chicken Chop was disappointing. The problem with breaded chicken is when deep fried in high temperature, the breaded surface may come out crispy and golden but the flesh quickly loose its moisture and turns dry. I can hardly taste any marinade on the chicken and the sauces served with the chicken comes in tiny containers that can hardly last throughout the meal. Another breaded dish, the Fish & Chips was equally disappointing, the fish crispy but dry, the fries too little and surprisingly this dish was not served with the usual cream of tartar and lemon but instead with chili sauce. All western dishes comes with a small scoop of mashed potatoes, coleslaw and fries. The fries are placed underneath the main dish which results in the fries becoming soggy as they soak up the gravy and the salad dressing. I personally favor crinkle cut than shoestring as they are usually bigger and has the ability to retain its crispy surface longer than shoestring fries. I also ordered an extra serving of fries (which surprisingly came later than the rest of the dishes) but was disappointed that instead of serving it with mayonnaise or thousand island it came with chili sauce.The choice of drinks are quite limited and despite the huge servings of food, the drinks come in small glasses with half the glasses filled with ice.

The in between: 
The Grilled Chicken was a safe choice, grilled chicken fillet served with the standard brown sauce with  just enough ground black pepper, not too overpowering but strong enough to tingle your throat. The Claypot Noodle (as its name implies) was served in a black claypot soaked in thick, dark sauce with generous amount of prawns swimming in between strands of egg noodles.

The snob's verdict: 7/10 (closer to 6 than 8)
This place should take credit as the largest HALAL restaurant serving local "western" dishes in the Northern regions (most restaurants serving western  dishes are owned by Chinese despite being certified HALAL). If you're looking for a place for a quiet romantic dinner, this is NOT the place for you. This place is constantly jam-packed with customers despite the rapid turnover. Try Damiral's Grill in Bandar Baru Perda if you're planning to have western dishes for your anniversary.

Best of the Best of 2010 (part 2)

Continuing where I left off, I have so far reviewed two movies i.e. The Social Network & The King's Speech which means I have three more movies to scrutinize before i complete the customary 5 nominee shortlist to be considered for Best Picture in the upcoming Academy Awards. I find that by afternoon, my British accent is slowly diminishing and I am slowly reverting to my old self. And the list of nominees continue....

Inception  
Written & Directed by: Christopher Nolan
Actors: Leonardo di Caprio, Joseph Gordan Levitt, Ellen Page, Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy, Marion Cotillard, Tom Hardy, Micheal Caine
Achievements so far: 3 wins and 25 nominations. Nominated for 4 Golden Globes but failed to win any.Nominated for 9 awards in the upcoming BAFTA.

What is great about this movie:

This movie is the perfect example of a perfect blockbuster. Big budget, big cast (this movie features a huge number of Hollywood A-listers and a multi-racial casts to boot), big set, big score (the most prominent sounds you hear on the score are the big horns) and most importantly an enormous ambition to be more than just a summer blockbuster. This is a summer blockbuster with brains.This movie pushes genre boundaries, it is at once a thriller-espionage, sci-fi-fantasy, action and drama all rolled into one. One can easily get lost in the labyrinth of stories within stories but the director's careful direction allows you to sit back, relax and just enjoy the show. Director Christopher Nolan waited patiently until right at the end of the movie to drop the biggest bomb which kept people talking months after the movie was shown: Did Dom (Leonardo) really made it back to the real world? Did they succeed in their mission? Will the top finally stop spinning? This is the stuff that makes a movie a cult: allowing the audience to keep guessing, discussing, debating on the movie years and years after its release but never giving a definite answer, allowing space for formation of theories, speculations and predictions. To create the amazing effects you see in this movie, the director decided to dish CGI for conventional camerawork and went all the way to design a rotating sound stage for the famous anti-gravity hotel scene. I strongly feel that any respectable award shows should be celebrating these kind of amazing feats in movie making and not simply rule out Inception as another summer blockbuster which deserves recognition only for technical achievements but unworthy of other major recognitions including Best Picture and Best Director. The movie features excellent performance by the casts as a whole but lacks any outstanding performance for it to be considered for any acting recognition. I do feel that Hans Zimmer deserves better recognition for his work on the movie's score rather than the couple who clinched the globe for Best Original Score for their work in The Social Network.

Black Swan 
Directed by: Darren Aronofsky
Written by: Mark Heyman, Andres Heinz
Actors: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel

Achievements so far: 4 wins and 33 nominations. Natalie Portman won her first Globe this year for her brilliant portrayal of a ballerina at the verge of a nervous breakdown. This movie is up for 12 nominations in the upcoming BAFTA. 

What is great about this movie:

I've reviewed this movie in my blog before and I gave it an 8 (but very close to 9) which makes it one of my favorite movie of 2010. This movie uses the background of a ballet theater to showcase the destructive power of neurosis fueled by jealousy, insecurity and an unrealistic desire to be perfect in any way possible even when it means sacrificing your own sanity and in the end your life. This is perhaps one of the most beautiful psycho-thriller i have ever seen: acted by beautiful people (Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis), beautiful camerawork (including liberal use of CGI to enhance the visual hallucination experienced by the lead), beautiful make-up and wardrobe and a hauntingly beautiful score which effectively captures the mood of the movie. Natalie Portman definitely deserves the accolades she got for her wonderful performance in this movie. It is very disappointing that the soundtrack by Clint Mansell was not even considered for competition since it was ruled ineligible (containing excerpts from the original Swan Lake).

The list of nominees continue....

Best of the Best of 2010

Instruction: kindly read the following excerpt with a British accent

I do believe that it is still not late for me to present a list of movies that made 2010 a memorable year .I finally got to watch The King's Speech last night and when I woke up this morning I found myself thinking and talking like King George VI. Very well then, let us move on to a more pressing matter. In the light of the upcoming Academy Awards to be held in February this year, I feel obligated to provide a comprehensive summary of possible nominees for the most coveted award of the night: Best Picture of 2010. Following that, using a considerable amount of wit, vigor and valor, I will try my very best to produce my own prediction as to which of the possible nominees will most likely be crowned the best of the best for the year of 2010. And the nominees are:

The Social Network

Directed by: David Fincher

Written by: Aaron Sorkin, Ben Mezrich

Actors: Jessie Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake

Achievements so far: 17 wins and 22 nominations, including 4 wins at the recent Golden Globe Awards for Best Picture (Drama), Best Director (David Fincher), Best Screenplay and Best Original Score.

What makes this movie great:

This is a movie about the founding of facebook. If this is a superhero movie, it would be called Facebook: The Origin. This movie centers on a Harvard undergrad, Mark Zuckerberg (Jessie Eisenberg), a computer programming genius, a nerd and a social outcast (who managed to piss off a whole load of people which explains why he spends most of the movie in a meeting room filled with lawyers and a throng of angry people). Director David Fincher did a wonderful job transcribing a book about the founders of facebook  to the big screen and instead of presenting this movie in the form of a documentary filled with interviews and commentaries or another John Grisham's courtroom drama, he chooses to focus on the human drama behind the creation of one the world's greatest invention of the 20th century. Who knew that the world's largest social network was created by a social outcast who until today is still without any real friends (he lost his GF at the start of the movie and his BFF at the end, i won't be surprised to find Mark on the next episode of The Bachelor or come up with his own My New BFF series). This movie has all the elements of an award-winner, superb direction, great acting by the casts: Jesee Eiesenberg is excellent as the caffeine-laden, fast-talking, borderline hyperactive Mark, Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake provided commendable support as rivals vying for the coveted role of Mark's BFF and an entertaining score to liven up the mood of the whole movie. However, I do believe that there is an ulterior motive behind the many wins this movie has garnered so far. This movie is extremely popular in the United States for one simple reason: this is the all-American movie. This is a movie about an American kid who manage to conquer the world just  by sitting in front of the computer. He eventually became the world's youngest billionaire and proves that America can still do it despite the grave conditions of the world's economy. This movie carries the torch of the American economic reform, sending a message  to all Americans and the entire world that if a kid from Harvard can do it so can we, America will prevail. Last year, Katherine Bigelow's war drama, The Hurt Locker won an Oscar for Best Picture for depicting America as the victim (rather than the scoundrel) in 2003's invasion of Iraq and I strongly believe that this year, the Oscar belongs to The Social Network.

The King's Speech

Directed by: Tom Hooper 

Written by: David Siedler 

Actors: Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter, Geoffrey Rush

Achievements so far: 7 wins and 39 nominations, received 7 nominations in the recent Golden Globes but only won an acting nod for Colin Firth's excellent performance as King George VI. Nominated for a total of 14 awards in the upcoming BAFTA (the British equivalent of the Academy awards) including for Best Picture, Best Director and Best Actor for Colin Firth.

What makes this movie great:

I finally got my copy of this movie last night and proceeded without haste to finish the movie despite suffering from flu which resulted in a mild headache which i must admit is a nuisance but was not severe enough to impair my judgment. So before, dismissing this review as an incessant ramblings of a delirious man suffering from high grade fever, i must assure you that at the time this review is written, the fever has completely subsided and my brain function is completely restored to its former glory. This movie centers on a monarch with a speech defect who managed to overcome all adversities and emerged as the voice of the nation with the help of a speech therapist with unconventional methods who later became his best friend. At the heart of this movie is the story of a bond formed between two individuals from different social standings: a reigning monarch and a commoner, a therapist (without any degree) who believes that the problem with speech defects lie deeper than pure mechanics and the only way to cure stammer is to overcome fear. The Duke of York has many things to fear: his father, King George V is dying, his brother shows zero interest in state's affair and focuses his undivided attention to a married woman and his royal subjects think he's unfit to be the King because of his stammer. In fact the only person who genuinely believes in his greatness is his therapist whom despite his unconventional methods managed to cure his stammer and made him the King that he's meant to be. This movie is the favorite in the upcoming BAFTA awards for obvious reasons: superb direction, brilliant performances by the cast: Colin Firth deserves all the attention for his performance as the tortured King George VI,  Goeffry Rush is brilliant as the speech therapist and Helena shines in her few non-eccentric roles. The cinematography is perfect, depicting an otherwise dreary pre-war London in soft, pastel-colored tone accentuating the various human emotions emanating from every scene.

And the list of nominees continues...........................